Happy 3rd Birthday Ezra!

Ezra, strong helper, lover of fast cars, diggers, and penguins, today you are three years old. I am so proud to be your mama and love watching you play, learn, jump, dance, and grow. I love hearing you talk, sing, laugh, and cry. You are my shining sun, my big love. Thank you for being here. I love you more than words can say.

You Say Goodbye, and I Say Hello

The last two days brought an end to some of our friends time here on the island. As we began our first semester on St. Maarten in August, our first friends on the island were beginning their fifth and final semester on the island. Meagan and Jill both became my sponsors before our big move to the Caribbean - AUC has a Spouse's Organization that connects incoming spouses of students with another spouse of a student already on the island. They were the perfect sponsors for me as they both were teachers, like me, back in America, and they both have children around the same age as Ezra. Meagan is the mother of 3 year old Maddy, and Jill is the mother of 2 year old twin boys Spence and Everett. We all became instant friends and shared a memorable 4 months together with regular playdates, pool dates, beach trips, walks and tricycle rides in Marigot. These friends were not only special to me as a new stay at home mom living in a foreign country, but they were Ezra's first real playmates that he grew to love and ask for. Watching Ezra nourish these early friendships was a real pleasure for me. The first time they all came over to play, Ezra (who had just moved to this island a week before) hid in the corner for most of the playdate. By the third or fourth playdates, Ezra's initial reaction was always one of sheer squealing delight and every goodbye was met with tears. So, when we brought both families to the airport this week, it wasn't surprising to see Ezra get upset over the departure of his friends. Although it broke my heart to see him go through these sad feelings, I think it is what life is all about and was grateful for the early life lesson. He handled it quite well I thought, because after our second trip to the airport taking the twins and their parents to the airport, we drove by Maho Beach to watch a plane take off and there on the beach were our other good friends Jess and Michael with their kids Parker and Jonas, who arrived to the island the same time we did. Ezra called out, "Parker! Parker! Go to the beach mom, go to the beach!" And that's just what we did. From one sad goodbye to a happy hello, Ezra is learning the valuable buddhist lesson of impermanence and the treasure of living in the moment. But, as I write this and reread it, I think that the lessons are really for me, because Ezra is truly my teacher everyday in these practices.

Maddy and Ezra outside Princess Juliana International Airport

playing in the airport

time to say goodbye

Ezra's expressions always get to me

Day 2 at Princess Juliana Airport - the twins are ready to go back to Texas

Ezra already started the hugs outside

Spence and Ezra

Ezra calls to Everett to join them

such pure love

this is the real goodbye

you can tell Ezra's about to get sad with those big eyes and upside down smile

Sweet serendipity! Parker and Jonas were at Maho Beach just as we were driving by!

pure joy

December

The month of December is full of celebration for our family. Not only is it the month in which we celebrate Michael and Ezra's birthdays (as well as 5 other members of our family), but it's the time we put our shoes out for St. Nicholas on the night of the fifth and prepare for Christmas and all of its festivities. Here on the island, it is almost entirely up to the individual to create the Christmas spirit. There are no peppermint mochas to be had at your local Starbucks or Christmas music to be heard over the speakers at the mall complete with Santa, his house, elves and reindeer. And the weather is anything but frightful making it feel so delightful to sit by the fire and sip hot cocoa (I don't think anyone has a fireplace on St. Maarten). We live on an endless summer island where your main influences are the natural beauty around you and not the latest fall collection at your favorite stores at the mall. Your plans revolve around which beach you will visit next and not which mall or store you want to go to. My shopping only takes place at the grocery and hardware stores now (and sometimes the toy store for Ezra). So without Black Friday, the bedecked malls, and chilly weather, I have been feeling the absence of Christmases past. But, I'm enjoying that this year the holidays will revolve mostly around family, with my mom and Larry arriving tonight for a 3 week visit and the traditions and celebrations we are creating for our little family. We have had a memorable birthday celebration for Michael with 25 of our new friends on the island gathered at our home. Ezra celebrated his first Nikolaustag that I think he'll actually remember. He has been eating the chocolate eggs that he got from Saint Nick, the kind from my childhood visits to Germany, with a little toy inside the plastic yolk encased in the chocolate. We continue to go to the beach a few times a week and feel like it's the middle of July and not the middle of December. But, the warmth from the sun and the closeness of family and friends is all one really needs to make everyday feel like Christmas.

the birthday banner Ezra and I worked on for Michael

me and Michael at his birthday party

Ezzy's shoes filled with toys from St. Nicholas

our little Christmas tree

the Christmas tree in our lobby that Othello put up (the man in the picture)

we were just returning from bringing Ezra's friend Maddy to the airport

a little afternoon visit to our beach

trying to pull the rolls out of his pants

the sun setting at our beach

Happy 40th Birthday Michael!

Dear Michael,

The first time I saw you, I knew there was something special about you. What I didn't know is that I would fall in love with you and move to San Francisco with you four months later to start college, then to Santa Cruz, and finally to Santa Barbara where we would both complete our undergraduate degrees in Art and Music. During those first 6 years together, I watched you with amazement as you created a vast repertoire of incredible drawings and paintings that now hang on walls in the homes of family and friends. You always worked from your heart and soul, making things that not only impressed the eyes of the observer, but their minds and hearts as well. I will never forget your first gift to me (other than your heart itself), the photo realistic drawing of me that you spent countless hours on. It makes me happy that my beloved grandparents saw that drawing everyday in their stairwell for their last years together because your generous spirit insisted that we later give it them. Do you remember the year we worked together on the native american teepee lamps for your family's Christmas presents? Your dad saw one in a store or magazine, I believe and showed it to you. You soon after gathered the materials by hand, finding the perfect manzanita sticks near the house where we lived, went to several stores to find the right shade and thickness of rice paper, crystals, and feathers and went to work on the lamps. Not only did your technical abilities amaze me that you knew how to construct a lamp, make it work and be something pretty to look at, but also your generous heart that I've learned is the fire that keeps your creativity always burning with energy.

It was 7 years after we met, that we exchanged vows to love one another for the rest of our lives. But I knew the day you asked me to marry you, which was long before our wedding day, that we had made that promise already. From those early magical years together where our days were spent making music, art, and love together to years that were at times more about learning to cope with life's drudgeries and the vicissitudes of life, to our most recent years which include the brave decisions to reinvent ourselves by becoming parents, and you, a student once more on the path to a career in medicine, it has been a wonderful time sharing our lives together. And when I look back on it now, I see how your heart's burning creativity has played such an important role in all of our endeavors. Your courage, love, and generous spirit has been a shining light on all of our paths together and alone. I love you for who you are, for who I have become with you by my side, and for the father you are to our son. Happy Birthday!