imaginary friends

ezra's imagination has recently reached a new development. he has been including his imaginary friend maddie into our days for a while now. it started over a week ago when i thought she would leave as quietly as she came into our lives that evening, but it seems she's here to stay. maddie comes with us on our errands and ezra makes sure to buckle up her seat belt before getting into his car seat. he asks me to pick her up when michael picks up ezra. if i ask ezra if he wants a drink, he says maddie wants one too. after i help ezra to get dressed in the morning, he helps maddie to get dressed too. when i go to sit on the couch next to ezra, he will sometimes say, "no mommy, maddie is sitting there." when we cut out cookies today, ezra made sure that he pulled out a chair for maddie first.


maddie is a real friend turned imaginary and in fact, making cut-out cookies was something we did more than once with her together. she was a regular part of our first four months on the island, our first semester, her family's last. she was ezra's first baby love.


when he started this imaginary friendship with her, i was patient, understanding, and happy to play along, but at the same time, i felt a twinge of sadness that she was no longer here for him to play with, that we are not around other children more regularly like we would be in our old neighborhood full of other children at the neighborhood playground, and that we didn't have a little sister or brother for him to play with. but, i've remained positive and just played along and picked up maddie to put her into bed and carry up the stairs when we get back from a long day out at play.




not only do we have maddie in our days again, but ezra has taken to bringing his little elmo everywhere too.


we have left the house more than once without him and have gone right back up the two flights of stairs and into the elevator up to the 7th floor of our hotel to get elmo to bring with us wherever it is we are going. he has been to the store, the beach, and the rasta farm.




this new development in ezra's creative and imaginative play has been a subject for contemplation lately and i was glad when i sat down to read susan usha dermond's book, "calm and compassionate children" this evening. a few pages into my reading i read these lines in which she quotes a study conducted by a university professor and psychologist: "imaginary friends play an important role in a child's development. what we have shown in previous work is that having an imaginary companion is associated with advanced social understanding - being able to take the perspective of another person." this statement is supported alone by my child's way about playing with his imaginary friends. he is always thinking about them before himself and is taking the role of care-taker with them. one of my favorite parts of being a parent is just observing my child and watching him grow before my eyes. this new development in his awareness of self and others is truly exciting to me! one of my greatest goals as a parent is to raise a compassionate person. i am looking forward to each and every stage along the way of watching him grow into this extraordinary being.